"Yes, I'll have another shot of cake."
"So what are you making there?" - Howie
"A scarf." - Jenny
"Such blatant disrespect for the assignment!" - Howie
"Uh, I don't go to this school." - Jenny
"Robotic demonstrations are very romantic!" - Howie
What's the difference between Ed and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
-- Tim Hoffman, Drunkard
Don't flatter yourself, you're not cold-hearted
-- vignesh to ian, grading 113
I win a dinner from Kesden if [my class] gets a lower QPA than [his].
-- Anonymous, but only out of context
NetMon is a game... a game of chance, upon which we are risking our entire livelyhoods.
-- fk03, 7/29/02
We don't want you using any prior knowledge on this test.
-- ifriedma, 15113 CA
Im in charge here, so you better get used to my notation... and dont get me started, or ill start using greek letters.
-- Brookes, 15212 Prof, 8/29/02
Currently recovering from wisdom teeth removal. Yes, I do look like a chipmunk.
-- Dave Chan, 8/18/2002, 11:43
CMU girls are either taken or lesbians or Belinda
-- The J
Maybe you've used a computer before.
-- Rudich, 15251 Prof, to a room full of CS majors
When i went to college, pot wasn't so much a drug... more like something you smoked in class.
-- Rudich, 15251 Prof, 4/9/2002
You could construct a Turing machine with toilet paper and stones... you might need the toilet paper with little squares, but you could construct [it] ...
-- Mark Ravaglia, 80100 Prof, 3/13/2002
We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans...
-- Bill Clinton, President, 3/11/1993
Hear me out, and you will believe... anything.
-- Klaus, 15251 Prof, on the Axiom of Choice
Its full. Its a nice ball. You can kick it.
-- Klaus, 15251 Prof, referring to the Sun.
There are a few dead bodies under the rug.
-- Klaus, 15251 Prof, on fudging proofs
... he was actually quite a womanizer, which you wouldn't suspect from this photo. Girls, what do you think of this?
-- Klaus, 15251 Prof, on Hilbert
Fromal? SHIT!
-- Klaus, 15251 Prof, 5/3/2002
... or if you don't have any friends this is like magical masturbation
-- Rudich, 15251 Prof, 2/26/2002, on a Fibonacci magic trick
Caesar is a prime number... you know, the guy who got stabbed.
-- Mark Ravaglia, 80100 Prof
Light a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
-- Don Mosites
What happened to your bitch? Your bitch isn't willing to collect your semen for you?
-- Patrick Tan (with a Hong Kong/British accent), 12/13/2001
Life was good. We had untold wealth, a team of ninja accountants, and all the flan we could ever desire. But all it took was one woman and her dark secret to bring it all crashing down around us.
-- Goats, 11/19/2001
Ukranians are ghetto Russians.
-- Anonymous
(17:57:53) Ed Bardsley: so what happened to you quest for love... or sex... or political power... or whatever it is that you're looking for in a girl?
(17:58:41) CapHill ASH 22: at this point i am looking for
(17:58:46) CapHill ASH 22: B and C
-- Ashton Randle, Republican, 10/16/2001
I don't care if you take the same exam as the person next to you... It will increase your chance of passing and decrease the chance we will all have to come in on Friday.
-- BNA, 99102 TA, 10/10/2001
I would spray this in your eyes, but you'd probably die.
-- Ben Greene, 15121 TA, 9/28/2001
If it was hard for us to write, it should be hard for them to read.
-- Tim Hoffman, 15121 Prof